Making the Ordinary Come Alive

A friend of mine recently posted this passage from William Martin's, The Parent's Tao Te Ching: Ancient Advice for Modern Parents on her facebook page

When I read this it summed up perfectly a lesson the Lord had reminded me of recently. This excerpt is a great example of where my phrase, 'ordinary moments, extraordinary life' takes root. There is so much beauty in life's simple pleasures if we take the time to seek them out, or let them happen as they come, and give them the chance to take root in our hearts. 

I was just thinking about this when I took these pictures of a few of my kids while we were attending family camp. We had come back to our little family cabin to quickly change out of swim suits and head back for organized game time. While some of the kids were changing a few of the big kids made their way into the creek by our cabin and began to explore. 

As I looked down on them from a little bridge above I witnessed them helping each other across the rocks and water. They were excitedly pointing out treasures and creatures to each other. Squealing in joy at these new discoveries and not wanting each other to miss out on any of it. 

As I watched my children from my vantage point above I was suddenly in no hurry to get back for camp game time. It was time to let go of the busy schedule and live in the beautiful moment they were experiencing right then.  The hope in my heart that day was that when my children grow up and reflect back on their childhood, that moments like this would come back to them. That ordinary moments exploring creeks and catching frogs would add together to build an extraordinary childhood for them. 

Bringer of Joy

My first experience in reclaiming live music back into my life was one I will never forget. It's a story of unlikely friendships made, a lesson on being open to unbridled joy, and a 'I can't believe this is actually happening' moment that came because I said yes to something I wouldn't have done on my own. These are gifts I will always hold dear to my heart and they came to me through music.

The venue was an outdoor amphitheater which consisted of a pit area, seated area, then a large field area behind that. It reminded me of a slightly smaller scale of the Hollywood Bowl where I was lucky enough to see a few shows in my younger days. It was a warm summer day and we arrived early to get seats and enjoy some wine and visit with our friends who were also attending the show. We were seated at the back of the seating area pretty close to the stage. My Husby and good friend Sarah flanked each side of me. Sarah came to the show with her friend Roxy who had won summer season tickets to the amphitheater. As we were visiting before the show a group of young people came and sat in the seats directly in front of us. We are talking tattoos, brightly colored hair, and the very distinct smell of pot, type of young people. I didn't think much about it because my eyes just kept wandering to this line up of guitars(more on that in a future post) and the conversation around me.

The opening band was a group called the Plain White T's. Such a fun group of guys to watch! There is something energizing about watching a band that has made it but not quite made it preform. There is a hunger and enthusiasm there that is fun to watch. Singing their song 1,2,3,4 with a huge crowd of people and my arm around my Husby will forever come back to me whenever I hear that song in the future. 

The second band to go on was Daughtry. I only knew a hand full of his songs so this point of the night held a lot of observation for me. I love people watching and I especially love seeing the way that music effects people so uniquely, yet collectively at the same time. My friend Sarah loves Daughtry and as he was preforming I look over at her and capture this picture. Husby leans over to me and says, "I wish I could have as much fun at life as Sarah does."

This picture so completely sums up who she is. And thats just it. She chooses to find joy, happiness, and adventure in all she does. Her attitude of joy is contagious! If she's with you then surely you are having a good time. She brings laughter and joy where ever she goes.  She embodies all good things a friend should be. She is Sarah-Bringer of Joy! These are the thoughts I have while the music plays, and the people sing. I am forever thankful for the blessing of friendship and the lessons I am taught through it. 

After Daughtry finishes on a high note we have a little time before the headliner goes on. I can't help but notice the tattoo that ran down the back of the young girl in front of me. Only the first word was showing and the rest was hidden by the dress she was wearing. Husby and I joke around about what it might say and I lean over to ask Sarah what she thinks. Sarah doesn't hesitate for a moment she leans forward and taps the girl on the shoulder and asks her what her tattoo says. Thus a conversation begins. Introductions are exchanged. Brothers, sisters, dating, friends-their connections to each other unfold. Where they are from, how they came to be there that night. Drinks are bought for each other and shared. Group photos are taken, concert stories exchanged. All through out there are laughs and jumping up and down in excitement. Never in a million years would I have walked up to those kids and talked to them in another setting. But music gives us common ground. It can create friendships and cement bonds and facebook can keep them going ;)

As the headliners take the stage the level of excitement around me amps up. I have listened to the Goo Goo Dolls since I was in high school. I have memories of my early dating days with Nick and signing Black Ballon and Slide in his car as we drove around town. I will always love the lyric "Oh May do you want to get married, or run away?"(My maiden name initials were MAE) So needless to say I have really been looking forward to seeing them live for a long time. We stand and everyone is smiling ear to ear as they take the stage and play. A few songs in Sarah turns to me and says she really wants to go up and see them closer and asks me if I want to join her. I look at that enthusiastic face and find myself saying yes. Husby decides to hang back with Roxy and Sarah and I make our way down to the crowd in the pit area. She takes the lead and starts to weave us in amongst the fans. Before I know it we are only 3 people deep from the stage. And there is Johnny Rzeznik in all his aging glory. And there was Sarah and I in the thick of it looking at each other with that "Can you believe this is even happening right now?!" grins on our faces. We look up and there is our new young friend Crystal crowd surfing over us and I'm holding her up and passing her along... And this surreal moment is actually my life because I said yes to an adventure I would probably not have initiated on my own. And black balloons are being tossed up and passed on in the air in lieu of beach balls, and Johnny strums on, and This. Is. My. Life. And this moment will live on forever for me as the drum kit echoes in the chambers of my heart, and the guitar vibrates in my soul, and Sarah is smiling at me, and my life is truly extraordinary.

I am looking forward to what the year of concerts will bring for us as we adventure to see Bruno Mars, The Counting Crows, Elton John, David Crowder, Mercy Me, and Justin Timberlake in concert. I am finding myself looking for ways to say yes when I may other wise have said no.  By doing so I can experience all the Lord has for me when I'm not getting in the way of myself. Thank you Sarah Bringer of Joy for teaching me to gather all the joy life has to offer and most importantly, to pass it on.

Ordinary Moments, Extraordinary Life

I'm often told that these days when my kids are young, are going to fly by.  I try to think back on my oldest daughter learning to crawl, or her sweet little 3 year old face covered in sticky pink cotton candy from a visit to the fair.  I realize if it were not for pictures and videos these moments would be gone. My brain has to push out the old to make room for constant assault of here and now. When I look at a photo it brings the moments back to me. It fills in the blanks left behind with time. It's time travel. A little bit of magic if you ask me.

I always wish I would have taken more photos and videos when my youngest two were babies. Alas the daily demands of caring for two kids 11 months apart in age didn't even leave me with a thought to record the daily chaos. But in this age of social media I'm thinking more about it. I learned about this free cell phone app called Timehop. It shows you what you posted on facebook, twitter, and instagram, exactly one year ago, two years ago etc. I really enjoy opening the app each day and seeing my kids faces look back at me over the past 5 years that I have been using these social media outlets. I'm watching them grow up before my eyes. I'm reminded what they looked like and what they were doing years ago on this very day. So all this got me thinking. What can I post today that will capture this day, these moments, this stage in life so I can time travel back to this very day when I open my app in 2015 and beyond? I know I won't recall the joys of potty training an ADHD child, or the explosive diapers of a baby with cystic fibrosis, or that my sweet Katie was student of the month. My boys may not remember that they got along a year ago and were cuddled up in bed together playing games on their kindles when I went to see what they were up to. But now I have proof! On days they need to be reminded that their siblings are their biggest blessings I will pull up these photos to show them how lucky they are to have so many siblings to share this unique journey with. I'm documenting these days as they go by and I'm hoping it will be a blessing to them as they grow older. This is my legacy. This is my joy. To watch them grow, to shape them as I can, but to really just celebrate who God has made them to be.

I've taken on the challenge to commit to capturing moments. Messy ones, sweet ones, frustrating ones, slow gentle days, crazy hectic days that feel like they will never end, days I question why I'm doing this at all, and the days I feel like I'm a rock star at what I do. I want to be able to travel back to these fleeting moments and reflect on how they have all been added together to give me this crazy beautiful life I call my own.  I want the raw and real moments along with the sweet ones. I want to be able to show my daughters that motherhood is the most complicated, challenging, and beautiful thing they may ever do. That families are formed in ways that you may never see coming. That you may never have it all together, but together you can have it all.

How will you capture your moments? What is happening around you right now that you can document and preserve? It only takes a moment to snap some photos during your day on your cell phone. Think about capturing a moment as it happens. When you walk in to find your toddler has taken off his diaper and proceeded to paint all over the walls with its contents during nap time, stop and take a breath. Then pull out your phone and take a picture. You will want this photo when he's 18. That's where you get payback from cleaning poop off his wall all those years earlier.

I've also had to work on letting myself be in photos. It's easier to be the one taking them and not have to worry about how plump I look in the photo.  But I'm thinking I will never be as young as I am right now. I will want to remember how I look right now as I move on the wrinkles and smile lines phase of life. I want my daughters to be comfortable having their picture taken, so I need to set the example for them. I am beautifully and wonderfully made, and so are they.  All too soon these type of days will be gone and replaced by different kinds of days with their own special moments. These beautiful children of mine will be grown and capturing their own moments. I hope I will be able to convince them to capture their own days and send them to me as they begin to go off on their own journeys. But for right now these ordinary moments of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, homework, tantrums, and pre-teen hormonal fluctuations, are adding up to make one extraordinary life.

Check out this link to the free Time Hop app I mentioned by clicking on the link. It's not to late to start capturing your families daily moments! Timehop App

The Waiting Room

Have you ever sat in a waiting room? Waiting for the doctor to come back in and tell you what's wrong with you? Waited for test results? Waiting for endless hours as your child burns with a fever and cries because they are in pain, and yet there is absolutely nothing you can do to fix it? Your foot taps nervously without your notice. Your stomach churns. You feel desperate, out of control. You pray constantly without words but with cries for help. The cry of please, please Lord. Because He knows your heart. He knows the struggle you can't breathe into words.

I'm stuck in a waiting room right now. I have no idea how long I will be made to wait. They say 2-4 weeks. If feels more like a lifetime. See I'm waiting for my future son or daughter to be born. I'm waiting for the phone to ring. Waiting for my caller ID to say DHS. Waiting for the words that will come while I silently pray, Please God Please.... As I listen I will forget to breathe. Everything else will fade away. The noise of the children at home around me, the dish I was just about to put into the sink, all that, all that will just be gone. I'll feel that deep sick to my stomach feeling that comes with adrenaline, fear, and silent hope, all mixed together. I can hear my heart in my own ears racing on faster and faster. Still I will forget to breathe. I wont remember to do so until I hang up.  I know this is how it will be because I've been here before. But this time....This time is different.

Last time in the waiting room I was full of hope and excitement. My biggest worry as I answered the call I had been waiting for was if drugs would be on board at the time of birth. Even with just that small worry the world paused for me when I answered the phone. That mix of fear and excitement were coursing through me. My heart leapt forward without me. I heard her say that he's here. He's good. Mom managed to stay clean the last 3 weeks since she took off from treatment. He looks just like his brother! He has a clubbed foot though. The nurse said its a pretty significant one but thankfully its just one of his feet and not both.....

Two minutes go by as she tells me the details of who I will hear from when it's time to pick him up from the hospital. I hang up. I realized I had been holding my breath as I frantically called Husby and shared the news. I went immediately to my computer to look up what a  clubbed foot was and what treatment would look like. I discover that it means 6-8 weeks of on going full leg casts from hip to toe. I realize it means weekly appointments. It will mean having to get creative with clothing and mobility. It will mean a baby who is upset by confinement. I remember the small passing thought of how I won't be able to carry him in a ring sling like I was looking forward to. I went on to read he will wear braces on his feet until he is 4 years old. 4 years old?! His development may look different as he's learning to roll over, sit up, crawl and walk. I called my besties. Asked their advice. Could I do this? Would they help? When you have a ton of kids logistics come into play. How will I take 6 kids to the doctors office weekly for casts? I'll need to farm them out. Besties say that got me covered. I say a prayer of thanksgiving for the people in my life that the Lord has blessed me with. It takes a village to make this calling on my life possible. And let me just tell you, I have the world's best village.

Two weeks of little mans life go by. The phone rings again. This time it's his pediatricians office. There's a problem they say. This time the world around me goes into slow motion. That feeling of adrenaline and sickness comes back in full force. He has several markers for Cystic Fibrosis that came back on his PKU testing that was done at birth they say. Another test will be needed to confirm it. We schedule the appointment. I hang up. It feels like I may never breathe again. One phone call has altered the course of my life, and my child's. I sit down at the computer again to start looking up what cystic fibrosis is what it will mean for him while I call Husby on the phone. I bust into tears the second he answers. I read on. I see the words through blurry eyes. No cure. Life shortening. Life expectancy 37. Some CF children don't survive through childhood. Digestive and lung issues. Frequent hospitalizations. The list goes on....

I find myself wishing that his clubbed foot was once again my biggest worry for him. There was a moment after the original phone call that I wondered if the clubbed foot would be too much for me. Could I manage all that entailed while raising my other 6 children? I see now that God was preparing me. He had to bring me through that before I could face his cystic fibrosis diagnosis. From that moment on I had to hand it over. It was too big for me. It continues to be too big for me. But it's not bigger than God. It's not too much for Him. Thankfully He is my measure and my portion. He gives me what I need when I need it. He fills my cup, and my cup runneth over. This child is my joy. An ever abundant blessing. I'm thankful to be part of his journey. God has chosen this little one just for me, and me for him. God's got me covered.  He has my back. And yet...

I sit in life's waiting room once again. I'm having trouble leaving the room. The stakes are much higher this time. The fears reality. I feel stuck here as I wait for the phone call that will pause my world as I hear the words that will determine my babies life long struggles. But that's just it. I have absolutely no doubt that I'm supposed to be in this very waiting room, waiting for this special baby. I know in my heart that we have been called to parent this child along with our 7 other blessings. I know it sounds crazy. But this is our brand of crazy. You have your own crazy, trust me you do, and I have mine. This is the life He has laid out before me and it humbles me to the core that He trusts me with it.

So here I sit, and here I wait. I pace the waiting room floor. There are grooves worn where I tread. I lift up prayers that this little one will defy all the odds stacked against them. I internally panic each time my phone rings or an email comes through. I know the moment is coming. I can't help but worry non stop for this child.  It's hard to have no control, to have no information. Knowing someone else is making unacceptable choices with your child's life in utero.... It's too much. It's way too much for me. But once again it's not too much for Him. So I'm going to try to curl up in His lap as I wait in this waiting room for this child that He all ready knows. Please come wait with me. Offer up prayers for this sweet little one. Prayers that defy the odds, prayers of protection, prayers for peace, and for a constant understanding that despite this being too much for me, He's got this. And he's got me. 

The End is the Beginning is the End

Not quite sure why the title to an old Smashing Pumpkins B-Side came to mind when I sat down to begin my first blog post. I guess it always comes back to a song for me. Music finds its way into the weave of my every day life. I love how a song can take you back to an exact moment in your life. How it brings back the way you felt, the way something smelled, the person you were with.  I was just thanking God today for the gift of being able to connect with Him in worship through music. Music is a powerful thing. It can freeze a moment forever, it can be in the background of an adventure, it can clarify, it can connect, it can make you move. Music makes you think,  helps you feel, it can describe what you couldn't put in words yourself. Music, it can change the world. It has changed mine.

On my drive home from Costco today Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton came on the radio. It brought me right back to eleventh grade. The first time I ever heard that song was at a friends Christmas party. It was also the first party I had been to with a live DJ. Pretty fancy stuff. You couldn't help but feel there was magic in the air. There were even twinkly white Christmas lights for goodness sake. There is something to be said about young teenage love and trying to haphazardly apply the meaning of lyrics to how you are feeling that exact moment in time. I fell for the easy simplicity of a complex thing that Wonderful Tonight encompasses. All these years later it still gives me a flood of warmth, romantic thoughts and unsaid feelings. When giving the DJ for our wedding reception a list of songs we wanted in the mix that night this song definitely made my cut. Almost 13 years have passed since our wedding night. I still find myself learning more about love with each passing year. I can't help but wonder how much my view and understanding of love will change over the next 13 years. All I know is that I choose the very best partner for this crazy adventure. No one else could handle my brand of crazy like this man does.

In our dating days and early years of marriage we use to go to as many concerts as we could together. Somewhere along the line it went from seeing U2, Counting Crows, and Roger Waters, to The Wiggles Live in Concert. As we quickly added more children to our family the days of concert going fizzled out all together. But this year that began to change. We took the oldest 4 kids to Winter Jam 2013 for Katie's 7th Birthday up at the Portland Rose Garden. This tour had loads of our favorite Christian bands playing including David Crowder, 10th Ave North, and the Newsboys. There is just something to be said about live music.  I forgot that truly unique feeling of thousands of people all singing the same song together at the top of their lungs. The feeling of connection with thousands of people coursing through your blood as the sound of the drum kit echoes in your heart. I can't help but wonder if this will even begin to touch the feeling of worship at the feet of the Lord in Heaven. When all the saints will sing in one voice in everlasting worship of the One True King. If this deep feeling of connectivity and longing at a rock concert can even begin to show us a taste of whats to come all I can say is bring it on!

This experience in November relighted a fire in me. This along with the fact that U2 will be releasing a new album this year since their last one back in 2009. I'm determined to reclaim the fun and adventure of attending concerts with my man. We are kicking off this renewed desire with our Valentine's gift to each other. We purchased Bruno Mars tickets for August and we are going to run from there. It's time to put the music back in our marriage adventures! We are dreaming up where to go see U2 when they tour. We want to go somewhere we have never been before for at least one of the times we see them on their upcoming tour. It's nice to bring back the spirit of adventure. Just us and thousands of others, gathering together in unity for a taste of eternity...

Wonderful Tonight Live